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3:45 pm
October 5, 2011
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Shannyn @FrugalBeautiful.com
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What's your opinion on having "the money talk" with your significant other/person you're dating? When did you have it? What did you disclose? Did it cause problems or were you on the same page? Do you wish you'd talked about it sooner or did it happen at the right time? Is it taboo to talk about it on the first few dates?
I'm curious as to what your experiences have been with this!
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7:09 pm
October 5, 2011
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Sustainable PF
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First few dates? yes, too early.
We have this topic on our very long "to-write" list. Being a married couple who blog together helps. I think i'll try to do a collaboration for this one.
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9:37 am
October 6, 2011
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Miss T @ Prairie Eco-Thrifter
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FrugalBeautiful said:
What's your opinion on having "the money talk" with your significant other/person you're dating? When did you have it? What did you disclose? Did it cause problems or were you on the same page? Do you wish you'd talked about it sooner or did it happen at the right time? Is it taboo to talk about it on the first few dates?
I'm curious as to what your experiences have been with this!
I think you can start to get a gist just based on regular conversation on those first few dates but I wouldn't open up that topic until you have been dating for a while- say 3 months or more. Until you are actually considering the possibility of committing to this person, I wouldn't bother.
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10:15 am
October 6, 2011
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20s Finances
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I think I agree with Miss T. When my wife and I were dating, we had a general understanding of each other's finances just by being around the other person, but I don't think it is necessary to discuss until you are serious.
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2:13 pm
October 6, 2011
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Jeff @ Sustainable Life Blog
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I agree with miss T and 20s.
I was always pretty good at not disclosing my finances with friends/people i was dating, but with my current significant other I was in the middle turning the ship around. We got to talking long term goals one day and I told her everything that there was to tell. She was kind of surprised, but not overly concerned. I told her that I had a plan to pay it off (which I did/do) and was workign at it, and all it would take was time.
I think this occurred quite a ways into the relationship (over a year).
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3:01 pm
October 6, 2011
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Squirrelers
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Give it time. Despite being a PF blogger, I still think that this is one of those areas that do not need to be dissected until later. As in several months, at the minimum, and then if the people are in relationship that's on the way to becoming serious.
Sure, the person's money habits might be very important. If one person is frugal and a saver, and the other lives for today and is comfortable taking on (or has) debt, it could make for a relationship that might not work.
That being said, the person him/her self is more important than money, way more. I guess I don't see the reason to get into that discussion after a few dates.
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2:40 am
October 7, 2011
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Forest Parks
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My partner and I built up a friendship before becoming involved so we oddly had already talked and disclosed quite openly our financial situations.
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5:50 am
October 7, 2011
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MoneyIsTheRoot
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Im getting married in about 9 months, so this topic is just around the corner. My fiance and I tried to discuss it once unsuccessfully awhile back. I think we are in a much better position to now…definitely something I told her I want to write about once we do, how the experience went, our decisions we made, etc.
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12:04 pm
October 7, 2011
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JT_McGee
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I think anyone even remotely interested in personal finance can get some idea of what a person earns and how they spend it fairly quickly.
The advice that I see for "have this conversation!" is mostly, in my view, pointed towards people who couldn't tell a stock from a bond, or a coupon from a cell phone bill. If I were "in the market" and some chick asked me about my personal finances really early, I'd take it completely the wrong way.
…And please, ladies, don't do that "girl thing" where you mention something 100 times in passing in lieu of asking it directly once. Dudes don't see conversations the same way you do. We'll wonder why you have this tick that forces you to mention "student loans" as often as you use any other word. We're not a dartboard. Throwing 100 darts softly isn't the same as waiting a few months then throwing one dart as hard as you can.
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12:01 pm
October 8, 2011
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Jackie
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I blabber on about money to people all of the time outside of my blog too, so it pretty much comes up in conversation eventually with anyone who comes into regular contact with me. So I've never felt a need to have "the talk".
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2:41 pm
October 8, 2011
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Shannyn @FrugalBeautiful.com
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JT_McGee said:
We're not a dartboard. Throwing 100 darts softly isn't the same as waiting a few months then throwing one dart as hard as you can.
That just made me laugh! Good point!
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2:28 am
October 12, 2011
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eemusings
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We never really had the talk… we moved in together on quite the spur of the moment, at the same time that he got a new job, but hadn't yet set up his new bank account. Instead he arranged to get paid into my account and that was the start of joint finances!
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