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How do you deal with rude readers?

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6:12 pm
November 17, 2011


themodernfinancial

Member

posts 57

Hey all,

 

My post from last night, which took a strong anti-Occupy Movement stance, has stirred up quite the controversy.  I figured this would happen.  I definitely don't fear disagreement and like to face it head on.  If I feel confident and strongly enough with my opinion to blog about it, I need to be prepared for less than savoury reactions.

 

Some readers who commented were sitting on the fence, lots of people agreed with me, some respectfully disagreed, and then there was one who attempted to tear me a new one.  He outright attempted to insult my intelligence and even wrote his own blog post, pinging back to mine where he referred to me as a "Capitalist" and included my twitter username and quotes from my post. 

 

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has received such strong and harsh reactions based on blog posts.  What is your advice for dealing with something like this?  Is it common for someone to quote another person on their own blog?  Since I'm so new to blogging, the whole turn of events just made me…uncomfortable?

 

Any advice is appreciated.

 

Thanks!

7:12 pm
November 17, 2011


Eric J. Nisall

Coral Springs, FL

Member

posts 377

I wouldn't worry too much about some random person's rants and raves.  There are lots of people who simple cannot process the idea that their thoughts aren't going to be shared by everyone and their default reaction will be to attack those with differing opinions.  Just take it with a grain of salt, and hope that whoever does something like that has a pretty popular site which drives traffic to yours, and call it free publicity.

Eric J. Nisall

DollarVersity

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Email me: eric@dollarversity.com

7:22 pm
November 17, 2011


Dominique Brown

Washington, DC

Member

posts 510

"I'm sure I'm not the only one who has received such strong and harsh reactions based on blog posts."

Nope, we all get it.  Everyone isn't going to agree with you.  But, when you have a controversial post you will get good, bad, and neutral responses.  The best thing to do is look at it as publicity and use it to your advantange.  I wouldn't view another person linking/bringing attention to blog as a bad thing.  Use it as an opprotunity to defend your position. In summation use it to your advantage. 

7:33 pm
November 17, 2011


Sustainable PF

Member

posts 2759

I've only had one questionable comment on our site.

I reminded the commentator, in the comments, to play nice on our site – politely (which isn't always easy for me to do!).

I've had some, what I consider, attacks on other sites – one in particular.  I commented about the content and then never visited that thread, or the site, again.

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7:36 pm
November 17, 2011


themodernfinancial

Member

posts 57

Eric J. Nisall said:

I wouldn't worry too much about some random person's rants and raves.  There are lots of people who simple cannot process the idea that their thoughts aren't going to be shared by everyone and their default reaction will be to attack those with differing opinions.  Just take it with a grain of salt, and hope that whoever does something like that has a pretty popular site which drives traffic to yours, and call it free publicity.

Thanks Eric.  All press is good press, right?  Unfortunately, the attacker's site is not popular.  I've only had 2 hits come in from it.  Oh well!  Thanks for your advice!

7:38 pm
November 17, 2011


themodernfinancial

Member

posts 57

YourFinancesSimplified said:

"I'm sure I'm not the only one who has received such strong and harsh reactions based on blog posts."

Nope, we all get it.  Everyone isn't going to agree with you.  But, when you have a controversial post you will get good, bad, and neutral responses.  The best thing to do is look at it as publicity and use it to your advantange.  I wouldn't view another person linking/bringing attention to blog as a bad thing.  Use it as an opprotunity to defend your position. In summation use it to your advantage. 

Thanks for your input!  What do you think is the best way to use it to my advantage?  I don't really want to draw too much attention to the attacker's post as I don't want him to benefit at all from this.

7:41 pm
November 17, 2011


themodernfinancial

Member

posts 57

Sustainable PF said:

I've only had one questionable comment on our site.

I reminded the commentator, in the comments, to play nice on our site – politely (which isn't always easy for me to do!).

I've had some, what I consider, attacks on other sites – one in particular.  I commented about the content and then never visited that thread, or the site, again.

I addressed his comments, and thanked him for foolish statements which I felt actually helped to prove one of my points.  But oh man, did I want to attack right back!  I was thinking if he had more to say, I might moderate his comments out, but that's really a last resort, and I would only do that if his comments were really, really inappropriate.

 

What did the commentator do/say when reminded to "play nice"?

8:03 pm
November 17, 2011


sooverthis

Kentucky

Moderator

posts 1041

If someone is rude to me, I tend to snap back. I don't ever attack the person, but I will attack what they say.

When I read a post I disagree with, I usually just surf somewhere else. If I feel compelled to leave a comment, I calmly express my disagreement. But I am never immature enough to treat someone badly for their opinions. So I have no mercy when someone is disrespectful to me.

Right way to handle it? Probably not. But it's what I can live with.

 

 

 

8:06 pm
November 17, 2011


Dominique Brown

Washington, DC

Member

posts 510

themodernfinancial said:

YourFinancesSimplified said:

"I'm sure I'm not the only one who has received such strong and harsh reactions based on blog posts."

Nope, we all get it.  Everyone isn't going to agree with you.  But, when you have a controversial post you will get good, bad, and neutral responses.  The best thing to do is look at it as publicity and use it to your advantange.  I wouldn't view another person linking/bringing attention to blog as a bad thing.  Use it as an opprotunity to defend your position. In summation use it to your advantage. 

Thanks for your input!  What do you think is the best way to use it to my advantage?  I don't really want to draw too much attention to the attacker's post as I don't want him to benefit at all from this.

Never go on the offensive.  Always remain a person of honor and simply state your opinion.  Always end your response to them with a question.  Essentially engage them.  The more time they spend on your site the more they talk to you the more you hook them to coming and either supporting/providing input.  Never shut them down.  Unless they start swearing or acting belligerent.  If it has gotten to the point were you feel uncomfortable simply ignore them or stop approving their comments on your site.  A good example of this is my post on glass stegall act.  me and a commenter clearly do not agree and we went back and forth for days.  This person has since then went to other posts and shared our dialog with others.  I love it

8:08 pm
November 17, 2011


Dominique Brown

Washington, DC

Member

posts 510

Another person who handles objection well is Sam from Financial Samurai.  He ruffles more feathers than a wolf in a chicken coop.  But, I can say what he does fire back and engages every objection/commenter.

8:23 pm
November 17, 2011


Sustainable PF

Member

posts 2759

He stated he wasn't attacking (which I still think he was doing) and toned down his subsequent responses.

His points were valid enough to include them, but I didn't like his tone, which I felt was aggressive. 

themodernfinancial said:

Sustainable PF said:

I've only had one questionable comment on our site.

I reminded the commentator, in the comments, to play nice on our site – politely (which isn't always easy for me to do!).

I've had some, what I consider, attacks on other sites – one in particular.  I commented about the content and then never visited that thread, or the site, again.

I addressed his comments, and thanked him for foolish statements which I felt actually helped to prove one of my points.  But oh man, did I want to attack right back!  I was thinking if he had more to say, I might moderate his comments out, but that's really a last resort, and I would only do that if his comments were really, really inappropriate.

 

What did the commentator do/say when reminded to "play nice"?

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8:27 pm
November 17, 2011


Sustainable PF

Member

posts 2759

Post edited 8:44 pm – November 17, 2011 by Sustainable PF


sooverdebt said:

If someone is rude to me, I tend to snap back. I don't ever attack the person, but I will attack what they say.

When I read a post I disagree with, I usually just surf somewhere else. If I feel compelled to leave a comment, I calmly express my disagreement. But I am never immature enough to treat someone badly for their opinions. So I have no mercy when someone is disrespectful to me.

Right way to handle it? Probably not. But it's what I can live with.

I think we're quite alike.  I've read your threads on how to deal with this and that.  I tend to want to react, and defend my position.  I find the "be nice at all costs" mantra of the PF realm to be a bit much.  But i'll be damned if i'll take multiple knocks on the chin lying down – I don't like to be beat.

But i've been learning to grow a thicker skin – a lot of us have.  It seems to be necessary as a PF blogger.

 

 

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10:23 pm
November 17, 2011


retireby40

USA

Member

posts 1381

Left a comment. I think it's good to have a few controversial posts. It's more fun to read the comments when there are disagreement. Smile

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3:25 am
November 18, 2011


Tony Chou @ Investorz' Blog

Member

posts 643

I'm totally fine with people leaving rude comments. At least it shows that you've hit something key in the other side's weakness. But sometimes, you just got to let it go. If you feel that it's too offensive, you can always delete the comment.

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4:03 am
November 18, 2011


MoneyBeagle

Member

posts 1466

If someone is strongly opinionated without being flagrantly rude, I look at it that it's better than having no comments at all.  When someone crosses the line into outright name calling, etc. I think it's fine to delete the post and/or question the author.

If he/she went so far as to write a blog post, they are obviously on the other side of the fence.  If they stay civil, let it continue.

Even if you don't get traffic, you get a free link.  Who knows, maybe one day his/her blog will be the next Simple Dollar and look what you'll have then :)

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5:15 am
November 18, 2011


Melissa (Mom's Plans)

Member

posts 908

I have had the same experience as you and SPF with someone attacking on another site and writing an entire blog post.  I refrained from commenting because really, what can you say to someone like that?  All you do is give them fuel to write more.  Those people aren't rational.  Just ignore it and go about your business.  Sometimes the blogging world feels like you are back in middle school.  :)
Sustainable PF said:
I've only had one questionable comment on our site.
I reminded the commentator, in the comments, to play nice on our site – politely (which isn't always easy for me to do!).
I've had some, what I consider, attacks on other sites – one in particular.  I commented about the content and then never visited that thread, or the site, again.

My Member Site:  Mom's Plans

My Challenger Site:  Fiscal Phoenix

E-mail:  momsplans@yahoo.com

5:43 am
November 18, 2011


MoneyBeagle

Member

posts 1466

A couple of years ago I had someone take one of my posts and pick me apart on his blog, which was used exclusively to rip apart posts from PF bloggers.  He concentrated mainly on Trent's site and another site that's now defunct.  I ignored him when he ripped me apart, but I started reading his stuff and commenting on his anonymously.  At a certain point, I kind of called him out about how he focused too much attention on one particular blogger and was he really interested in contiuning?  He wrote a post admitting that he'd lost interest and shut his blog down, something I think I can take partial credit for.

 

So you could try something like that :)

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7:15 am
November 18, 2011


OneCentAtatime

Florida, USA

Member

posts 1778

I also ignore rude comments. Love Joe's idea, its no fun without someone opposing you. If Abraham Lincoln run for president-ship again, don't you think people wont rip him apart?

 

On the contrary, this week I gave in when some one called me 'sexist' I admitted my mistake (actually I mentioned "your colleagues, your boss and the blond next isle will all be impressed" ) and took the line out from my post. 

Not sure I did the right thing or worn..just gave in.

 

SB

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7:16 am
November 18, 2011


MoneyIsTheRoot

Member

posts 1456

I enjoy rude readers, I havent had many, but the couple Ive had turned into interesting debates. 

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7:29 am
November 18, 2011


The Single Saver

Member

posts 689

Written communication is a funny medium.  If you don't know the person's "voice" in real life it is very easy to misjudge a person's true intent simply by what they wrote.  I know I have been unjustly accused of trying to stir up trouble before when, in fact, I wasn't and was only stating an opinion… but I also can understand how the true meaning of my words could have been confused as people have varied definitions they use which can change tone and meaning significantly. 

 

Knowing this (and having experienced it) I try to give my readers the benefit of the doubt.  Perhaps their "angry" comment wasn't as mad, sarcastic, cranky, mean, etc. as I was making it out to be?  Maybe it was mad, sarcastic, mean…. simply because the author was having a bad day?  Maybe the author has some valid thoughts that negate mine and they just aren't good at putting those thoughts into words?  I'd rather ignore the writer than attack them back, especially if their intent wasn't to attack me initially. Or, I will respond (politely) expressing why I feel they are wrong. 

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