I want a theme that looks great on every size of screen–a responsive theme. I want certain areas to be fluid, but since ad sizes are fixed, I need certain areas to be fixed but responsive and to serve up the correct ad based on the size of the screen.
I want my site to be optimized for the highest performing ad sizes and types.
I also want built-in A/B testing. REAL A/B testing, that can run two different things in parallel during the same time period, serving up different ones to different visitors randomly.
I want to be able to have very different post types with different handling rules.
I want to be able to choose featured posts with a checkbox, and then to have them retire automatically from the front page.
I want to have parallax scrolling to control the rate at which the sidebar(s) display in relation to the text.
I want to be able to hand-place ad units in some posts where I choose.
Anyone else?