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2:19 pm
January 23, 2012
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One Frugal Girl
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I've been writing a lot about my desire to stay-at-home with my 3 month old son. Because I'm the analytical type I've been breaking down the options by focusing first and foremost on the impact to our finances. I've written about eliminating unnecessary expenses, adding up expenses, the cost of insurance and the impact to future earnings. I also have a bunch of other posts lined up to discuss other financial and non-financial discussion points around this decision.
While I've been writing my blog for over six years I still have a relatively small audience and I was hoping to get a little more feedback from people who have made the decision one way or another. It's a HUGE decision to make and I'd really love to hear advice from anyone who has wrestled with this decision in their lives. Whether you've chosen to stay home or return to work I'd love to hear from you.
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2:34 pm
January 23, 2012
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jaicatalano
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| Member | posts 846 |
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I stayed home with my son for the first year and then my daughter for the first 6 months. As my photography work continues to grow we decided to put the kids in daycare. My blog has grown since joining Yakezie so I hope my finances might follow. I say stay home if you can. I didn't miss a moment of both of my kids and I am so happy about that.
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2:36 pm
January 23, 2012
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sooverthis
| | Kentucky | |
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As someone who has recently taken the plunge, I will say that I am loving it right now. For 13 years of my son's life, I've always been in school full-time, working full-time, or both. I have SO many regrets about things I missed – it's like someone hit fast forward and he went from infant to teenager in a week. I've seen a big change in him now that I'm home; he's happier, I'm happier, and the stress level in the house has decreased tremendously.
In my case, I really wasn't prepared for this financially. I wanted to blog for at LEAST another year before I even considered quitting my job. But things just lined up in such a way that I knew it was the right thing to do. There is tons of money to be made online. I can always find something else to do if I'm running short. And now that I'm so happy, I'm extremely driven to make this work so I can stay home.
You can always go back to work, but you can't get back the time with your little guy. If staying home is what you want right now, I vote that you go for it!
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3:54 pm
January 23, 2012
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Glen Craig
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Here are a couple we (my wife) wrote about our experiences:
http://freefrombroke.com/worki…..-home-mom/
http://freefrombroke.com/the-n…..ends-meet/
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4:44 pm
January 23, 2012
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Melissa (Mom's Plans)
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I was only home for 3 months before I went back to work with my son. My husband and I split shifts so he didn't go to daycare until he was two. With my third child, I had a 16 month leave of absence after she was born and then quit my job in part because daycare for my second and third children would have been prohibitive. Our income was very shaky when I quit, so it was a leap of faith, but I have been able to do more work from home than I ever imagined, we have enough income to meet our needs now, and we are aggressively paying down debt. Overall, I am very happy with my decision to quit and work from home while caring for my kids.
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6:42 pm
January 23, 2012
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Van Beek
| | Bangkok, Thailand | |
| Member | posts 227 |
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Here are just some questions I ask myself for this type of situations:
- Is this something I really would like to do and if I do not do this now, is this something I can never do again and will miss out of the rest of my live? You almost never regret something that you have done. You often regret what you have not done.
- If I do this, do I have to do this for the rest of my live? (Probably not. You can do it for 3, 6, 12 months or longer and always revise your decision later). It is liberating for me when I realize that I can go for something but that I can always change it later.
When my daughter was between 0 and 4 years old, it was OK for me to spend time with her after my work and during weekends. My wife was at home. But I wanted to have a period in my life that I have more time for her, to bring her to school and pick her up; to go to all her performances and activities at school; to be home when she comes home, to help with her home work etc.
She is now six and the last 2 years I have been able to do all this. To me it is a lot about timing. To have now more time for her was an important aspect in my decision 2 years ago to quit my job and try to start a business and get an income from home. We saved money so that we could manage a hit on our income for a few years. I will never regret that I made this decision. And this situation will not have to last. At a certain moment I can decide to go back to a more regular job at an office somewhere. This could be driven by financial needs or the desire to work together with other people around me. For now, the main struggle is to actually put my work at home aside and give my daughter the full attention when she is there.
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9:11 pm
January 23, 2012
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Super Frugalette
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I was in grad school when my first was born in September. I graduated in December and got a job in January as an accountant — two words "tax season". My son was asleep when I left in the morning. He was asleep when I got home at night. I missed "everything" for weeks. It was very stressful for me. I had a second child about 1.5 years later and finally stayed home when he was 1 years old.
Once I was at home, my life was SO much better. I was more peaceful, more relaxed and happier. I have never desired to return to work…I find my blog gives me an outlet. Now I am expecting my 4th and it would be impossible to return to work for many reasons.
You need to realize that staying at home is a big change. You have to make it work. If you never see other adults during the week or call a friend during the day, you will probably be miserable.
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4:53 am
January 24, 2012
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MoneyBeagle
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My wife and I actually discussed this and started planning for it before we were even married and long before kids were in the mix. Her having expressed that desire and my enthusiastic agreement with it allowed us to map things out so that we could eventually give up her income. As such, when we looked at purchasing our home, we budgeted as if her salary wasn't even in the mix. This has helped us considerably, since we did end up losing her salary when she quit, not to mention that raises have pretty much been cut off.
Once we found out we were pregnant, we started separating her money right out of the monthly budget. By the time she was 3-4 months away from quitting, 100% of what she was bringing home was going to pay down student and car loans. We knocked out the car payment and took a big chunk out of the student loan payment before she quit. Then, once she left, the income missed didn't affect our day to day spending (though I'm not going to lie, seeing the debt payments decrease was a bummer).
Since then, I've realized that in spite of all of our planning, I still have stress simply because our retirement savings aren't growing at the rate I want them to, and I feel as if we're falling behind a little. Still, we're not in a panic situation and the joy from my wife being at home with both kids, plus knowing that we're still increasing our savings (albeit a bit slower than I would prefer) makes it well worth it. In other words, it's an investment.
I know these things wouldn't apply to you since you're past the point of where certain things fell. But, hopefully it still gives thought and you can apply some of the ideas into your decision. E-mail me if I can help further.
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8:32 am
January 24, 2012
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One Frugal Girl
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Thank you all for your comments and suggestions! I'm inspired by how many of you either stay at home or have a stay at home spouse at home with your children.
jaicatalano, Andrea (@sooverdebt) and Melissa (@Mom's Plans) thank you for sharing your stories. Andrea & Melissa it sounds like there is a lot of money to be made online. Perhaps I need to investigate those options more thoroughly.
Glen (@FFB) – Your posts were particularly inspiring and I read each one twice last night and then sent them off to my husband to read. Reading your wife's story convinced me that I am making the right choice to stay home. I too worked in daycare when I was younger, (high school to be exact), and I also worked the late after school shift. There were a couple of parents who always picked their children up long after closing hours and it always broke my heart to see them sitting their waiting to go home. Reading that post brought back all those old memories.
Van Beek – Thank you for listing out those questions to ask myself. I know that I will never get back these years and I really don't want to miss any of them if I don't need to. I also love that you pointed out that this is a point in time decision that can always be changed in the future. I hate making decisions, but this is a good suggestion for any that I do have to make. Not much in life is permanent or set in stone. I guess I needed a reminder of that. Like you I think my husband would eventually like to cut back his hours so he can also be home more often.
Super Frugalette – Thank you for pointing out how much calmer and more peaceful you are. I have suffered health problems in the past and the stress of working a full time job and taking care of the house and baby might be more than I can physically handle. I hadn't really consider that aspect of it.
Money Beagle – I am very impressed by how well you planned for your family. My husband and I are big savers. Although we didn't save with this particular purpose in mind we have been saving quite a bit along the way. I think my struggle is the same as yours though. I worry how this decision would impact other goals. (I actually just blogged about this the other day.) Luckily our current retirement savings will continue to grow, but it still feels weird to think we won't be putting much more aside in savings over the next few years. I've been working since I was 15 and I am definitely a saver. But as Van Beek pointed out we won't get this time back in our son's life, so I think I can always work harder or longer in the future.
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8:35 am
January 24, 2012
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Barbara Friedberg
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I stayed home with my daughter and it's time you never get back. There are always regrets with every decision, but all in all, I treasure those formative years. And now that she's grown, the bond we have is indestructible.
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12:58 pm
January 25, 2012
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Jeff @ Sustainable Life Blog
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invaluable information for people like me who are curious about it – thanks everyone!
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9:39 am
January 26, 2012
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Andi B.
| | PDX | |
| Member | posts 272 |
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The discussion of family planning has started in our household and it's already something that gives me pause. I'm lucky in that my day job is part time work from home, but even though it's convenient it doesn't pay a lot. I could make quite a bit more outside the home, but if we're even considering having a child I want to keep the work I have.
My mother was a stay at home mom. She drove for every field trip, took care of every splinter, took me on nature walks, and made sure I am who I am today. My parents were both entrepreneurs but my mother managed her interior design business from home to make sure she was there. I can't imagine not working, but I know it will be from home; I had a great role model.
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Andi B.
Make the life you want.
Enjoy good food.
Enjoy good friends.
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3:55 am
January 31, 2012
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cbhattarai
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It is better if you invest on Stock too as wel as create your pwn blog to earn some thing.
It is better instead of siting at home.
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9:24 am
January 31, 2012
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Smart Wealth
| | Michigan | |
| Member | posts 304 |
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Something my wife and I have began to talk about, now that we are thinking that we will begin having kids soon, I fully support my wife with whatever decision she makes, as long as she understands that we will have to become more frugal than we have been.
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