Not sure how I missed this thread from January…..
I think that it depends on the stage of the relationship.
in my view, the guy always pays for the first date. It doesn't matter if she makes $300,000 a year and has a $2,000,000 net worth, and he makes $20,000 a year and is in debt with a negative net worth. He's the guy, and he should pay. She's the girl, and she deserves to be treated on the first date. It serves the guy well to just assume he's going to pay, and not overthink it. Just pay and be a gentleman. Better to offend by trying to pay than by trying to get out of paying!
However, once the relationship goes beyond the first four or five dates, or some period of time where the two people start seeing each other exclusively, there should be some fairness involved. Sharing the bills seems fair to me.
When married, I think joint finances make sense, though I realize that's not agreed by everyone. Just seems like it's important to be a team, working toward the same goals and going all in together. And this doesn't mean that it's only the guy's responsibility to make money, and the wife automatically has no responsibility. I don't think in this day and age it should be assumed and expected that the guy automatically has the financial burden on him just because he's a guy. After all, more than 50% of undergraduate and graduate degrees now are awarded to women.
It's a team effort, and if they allocate responsibilities where only one person makes the money, that's totally cool. Perhaps it's whatever works for each couple, as everyone has a unique situation of their own. What works for one couple might be different from what works for another, in lieu of hardened stereotypes.
So, I guess I'm a mix of old-fashioned and modern.
Interesting topic. I stated my views on this same topic in a post dedicated to paying on the first date, and it evoked some strong opinions http://squirrelers.com/2011/02…..first-dat/
Hopefully nobody took things too seriously :)