Since day one, the Yakezie Network has upheld the motto of helping others first. With this motto, we built a positive culture of always looking out for one another. If someone loses a job, we rally around that Member to provide freelance work or drive opportunities their way. If a Member needs some help with a new product s/he has created, certainly we’ll help spread the word! Whenever we have trouble with our sites, all one has to do is search the forums for answers and undoubtedly someone will pitch in to help.
We can’t be perfect. Sometimes, we’re just too tired to help. Other times we forget to show gratitude. We can’t be expected to help everyone all the time. However, what is expected is having the mindset of making someone else better without expectations. With this mindset, sooner or later an act of reciprocation will come.
DON’T TRY AND MAKE YOURSELF LOOK GOOD
There’s a certain amount of self-promotion that necessitates the survival of our well-being, be it off-line or on-line. Unfortunately, the magnitude of self-promotion on-line can reach preposterous levels because it’s so easy to do. It’s as if narcissism is tantamount for success!
Do an assessment around your workplace, or in your community. Hone in on that easy going someone who always tries to make her boss look great. She never takes credit and always speaks highly of her colleagues and superiors in a non-sycophant way.
As a result, everybody loves her and she’s always getting promoted. Now draw your attention to another fella who never pitches in, never makes his colleagues look good, and always highlights his own achievements in blatant ways such as through blast e-mails.
Guess what? Not many people like him, and when it comes to downsizing, he’ll likely be on the top of the list to go. People don’t fire friends who have always supported them. People fire those who always looked out for themselves.
WHY AREN’T MORE PEOPLE MORE SELFLESS?
After observing organizational behavior at my old firm for the past decade, I’ve come to the conclusion the reason why more people aren’t more helpful is because they are insecure with themselves and with their own abilities. You see the insecurity most vividly in a new manager who feels compelled to micromanage since they are so scared you’ll screw something up and make them look bad.
In life, you know that guy who buys a flashy car because he’s making up for something. Or what about the gal who wears incredibly revealing clothing because she’s afraid guys won’t like her once a conversation begins.
When you’re insecure, there’s no way to start putting others first. You feel you’re already behind and to help someone else look good feels like career suicide. What a sad way to go about life.
THE MESSAGE IS CLEAR
Put someone else first before self. Sometimes, your patience will be tested. Other times, they might take your ideas and never say thank you. That’s just the way it is. Breathe and be happy for them. Eventually, good things will come your way.
Regards,
Sam
I totally agree with you that helping others succeed is one measures to success. I believe that we should not be alone on the peak of the mountain of success. It is happier if we have friends and company to enjoy the success we are experiencing.
Helping others without strings attached demonstrates maturity and the ability to be an example to others. Sharing and giving feels good, and it becomes contagious!
Hey Sam – I’ve always felt that since contacting you and seeing what you’ve built that you like to focus on how to help others be successful at some level. I think it’s great.
Do you think that some people selfishly promote themselves over others as a survival instinct? Or do you believe in all cases that it is because of an insecurity of some kind? I suppose that feeling the need to survive that much is an insecurity :)
I’ve found one way I can help is to simply engage in discussion with the members here on Yakezie and offer positive encouragement as well as feedback on what I see they could do better with their websites. I do worry that I don’t have a ton of weight behind my suggestions since my own website is still a work in progress.
Thanks for sharing :)
Hi Jeremy, maybe survival is one part of it. But, it’s not like many of us are going to die if we don’t have our content tweeted out the most, or liked the most, or read the most or whatever. From a blogging standpoint, if one is not having fun and collaborating, I don’t think one is doing it right!
I think that’s called Karma. Great advice and a great way to live your life. It’s interesting that people who don’t think about the reward are often well rewarded.
I’m a big believer of this at work -> make everyone else look good and you will naturally look good. In my business, we are all in one ship, so one area not working can bring everything else down. We have to help each other and their success breeds your own success.
It definitely is the MOST apparent at work. And those who don’t practice it and try and ring fence their success get BLOWN UP!
Sam, I mostly agree with you apart with the part where you say that easy going, nice people who never take credit get promoted; not in academia. I also agree with ‘insecurity’ as one of the reasons. But I also believe that many people don’t understand something very basic – that supporting others and helping them to get better ultimately make you better as well. Selflessness is good for the self!
This is what I have always LOVED about Yakezie. That philosophy is so thick here it’s contagious. However, I have done mucho work on myself over the years and I have discovered that sometimes being selfless is a way to be popular and look better than those you are being selfless for. I have also seen people use it in a really bad way.
As a salsa dancer I was pretty popular. I had the girls, free drinks, a ton of money to play with and people who said they were my friend. After retiring I am only friends with 5 because 99 percent of the people who put me on a pedestal were using me to get there too.
Helping others, for the most part, comes with a selfish motive wether the person doing knows it or not.
True. I always wonder how I can remove those thoughts of doing good for the sake of good karma, rather than for the sake of just doing good.
It’s tough, but by just thinking about this motto, we are going to have better action as a result imo.
Sam, As you mentioned helping others doesn’t preclude self promotion. As in all, balance is key. No one likes a braggart!
For me, Yakezie has been a support, and help in more ways than I could possibly express. I’ve enjoyed the other bloggers both on line and in person. That said, I think it’s a bit unreasonable to expect that in reality folks put others ahead of themselves. I think you can promote yourself and help others. In fact, they aren’t mutually exclusive.
That is true, but we can at least try, and do so on occasion. I think the returns come back much greater than we ever expect!
Sam, right on man! I think giving back to others is what sets you apart from so many others. It seems like the more you give back the more you get. For instance I’m giving away 25,000 Delta SkyMiles on my blog, free and clear, and it makes me happy to be able to help someone else this holiday season.
I don’t have a financial website, reasons why I haven’t joined Yakezie, but your group or network is amazing! Look what you have built. This network of blogs was built on the idea of helping other and now you are all a powerhouse.
Love reading your stuff man!
Great giveaway Derek! Nice work and look forward to seeing you around the sphere! There’s always something going on in the Yakezie Forums or on FS, so don’t be a stranger.
One word Sam to your post!
AWESOME!
I made an effort to always acknowledge other people’s ideas, especially in the workplace. Something even as simple as “John makes a good point about…” or “Sarah’s suggestion about doing this…” can go a long way and it shows professionalism.
There is nothing more annoying and disrespectful than people who steal ideas and take credit for other people’s work. I’ve had it happen to me and fortunately that person ended up getting fired because she was not pleasant to work with.
I agree with your points about insecurities. When people have too many insecurities they typically end up selfish, mean, or just plan crazy.
I would definitely never want my workplace to become like that. Thankfully the one where I worked was good overall, but I’ve been reading up on how some companies like Valve “manage” their employees, and it’s really interesting! Imagine a workplace without the traditional promotion hierarchy and the social competition that can arise as a result of it: http://www.forbes.com/fdc/welcome_mjx.shtml
Great post! I definitely agree with you that assisting others along the way will help you succeed in life and in business. When you help out other people, they tend to follow your suit and begin helping others too.
This is exactly how it is where I work — you nailed it! No one likes the dudes that just boast about what a great job they did at some job site or how they wow’d some client. Everyone groans when these dudes open their mouths. Far better to just keep your mouth shut and let your work speak for itself. Or, like you say here, actually tell people what a great job they did or whatever. It’s a much better way of working and people like you!
If you’ve ever read up a bit about evolutionary psychology, it has some interesting insights here. Why aren’t humans exceptionally selfish in general? Some animals are, why not us? It pays off to be altruistic (to a certain degree), because if you help out others, you may get some help in return. There’s also an incentive to free ride, and you have to watch out for that as well.
Spoken very wisely Sam!! We all tend to get caught up in our own bubble of life and look out for number one when there are others around us that could use a helping hand to get to their feet when we are only looking to get ahead!!