Reader Beware: If you make your own soap or buy single-ply toilet paper, please don’t take offense to the following. Everyone has their own standards of living and this post just reflects mine.
What’s the difference between being frugal and cheap? For me being frugal is the willingness to spend, but the smarts to make good decisions and get a deal when it counts. Whereas being cheap is an avoidance of spending and trying blindly to save money on absolutely everything. A frugal person will make smart decisions based on value and quality. On the flip side, a cheapskate will be willing to sacrifice quality in order to save a few dollars, often times making themselves or others suffer in the process.
For example:
- If you drive 30 minutes out of your way to save 5 cents a gallon on gas you’re probably CHEAP.
- If you buy a car with a higher fuel-efficiency you’re probably FRUGAL.
- If you buy a used car seat on Craigslist you’re probably CHEAP (yes, that’s dangerous).
- If you buy a new car seat on Amazon at 25% off, you’re probably FRUGAL.
- If you avoid your turn to buy a round at the bar, you’re probably CHEAP.
- If you buy draft beers instead of imported bottles, you’re probably FRUGAL.
- If you splurge and dine at a nice steakhouse and leave a 5% tip, you’re probably CHEAP.
- If you buy the New York Strip instead of the Porterhouse, you’re probably FRUGAL.
- If you take an extra carry-on bag instead of checking a bag you’re probably FRUGAL.
- If you make 3 connections and travel all day to save $25 you’re probably CHEAP.
Anyone that reads my blog knows that I’ll do everything I can to save money on big ticket items. I’ll put in some research to find the best TV prices, save money at Home Depot, or figure out how to buy a car at the best possible price. I do this because saving 50 or 100 bucks means a lot to me, but so does getting value for my money. For every big purchase I make, I try to find the right balance between price and quality.
Does that mean I’m cheap? Quite the opposite. While I haggle over big ticket items, I still buy them when I need something. It’s the small stuff I don’t sweat. My time is valuable and I’ll only put forth extra effort when it makes an impact. Life is too short to worry about money 100% of the time. Not everyone will agree with me (and that’s ok), but here’s my list of things where I won’t go to extremes to save money:
- Eating out (and leaving good tips). Eating is one of my favorite past-times and I won’t negotiate at a restaurant. And 15% is the bare minimum I will leave for a tip (unless someone really pisses me off). Wait staff work for tips and its factored into their wages. If you can’t afford the tip, you can’t afford the meal.
- A round of drinks for my friends. You’re going to get the short end of the stick once in a while and will end up paying more than someone else. But over time it evens out. And if you do pay a little more, just think of it as doing something nice for your friends.
- Health care. Need the dentist to drill a cavity? Want some prescription strength cold meds? My health is worth a few bucks to me. Now that’s not to say I won’t try to find the best health care plan available, but I’m not going to skip a doctor’s appointment to save myself a copay.
- Basic consumer staples. Who doesn’t like soft toilet paper? Personally, I refuse to go single-ply. And I’m sorry if I offend anyone, but I’m not going to start making my own soap and I’m certainly not going to start stitching my socks.
- Hot water and air-conditioning. I don’t need much, but I do need hot showers and a down comforter at night.
- Gas. If you do the math, driving 30 minutes out of your way to save 50 cents on a tank of gas is just not worth the time and effort. And asking my passengers for gas money for anything less than a 3 hour drive? Sorry, won’t do it.
- Educational experiences. Anything that will make my daughter smarter and more well-adjusted is worth it in my book. She’s not old enough to do much of anything yet, but if she wants gymnastics or piano lessons online, a class trip, or SAT prep, you can bet I’m going to pay for it without batting an eye.
Now I’m not saying I won’t use a coupon for any of the items above, but I won’t go out of my way not to pay for these items. And I won’t try to negotiate. But send me car shopping and that’s another story.
Sometimes the line between frugal and cheap can be blurry, but I try to stay on the frugal side. So what’s on your list of things that you won’t sweat spending money on?
Nice post….. You seem worried about offending people on the making your own soap and toilet paper bit but I think you are worried that accusing those people of being cheap will upset them…. Thing is, people who choose to do such things are more often likely to be doing it for environmental reasons.
I now wash my hair with baking soda and vinegar…. Here in Egypt I can buy cheaper shampoo’s (but don’t get me wrong it’s still super cheap) but for me it’s more saving all those chemicals washing down into the drains and into rivers and poisoning wildlife and eventually us again!
I always buy people drinks, always tip at restaurants and anywhere else that needs it (which is almost everywhere here in Egypt).
However I do agonize over buying things. The question “do I really need this” goes through my head over and over.
I have no idea if the world sees me as cheap or frugal…. I call myself a minimalist who cares about the environment a little ;)
Forest, I was a little worried about offending some folks but you know, I didn’t even consider other reasons like the environmental impact. So you use baking soda and vinegar? Wow, I had no idea you could do that.
I’m somewhat of a minimalist myself. As my wife will attest, I hate going shopping and am still wearing hand-me-down tshirts that are older than some Yakezie members.
I agree with Forest. I make my own products for health and environmental reasons. As a bonus it saves me money. You wrote a great post. I think regardless of what someone decides to be, cheap or frugal, they are still on the right track. Both are saving money.
Looks like I’m a mix between frugal and cheap. Sometimes I do skimp on the price and go for the poor quality item, but most of the time, I’m just looking for value. Recently, my wife send me a link for 2 desks on craigslist. We don’t need the desks quite yet, but we will in the future. I would be willing to pay out some money now in order to save in the future. I just think that’s being smart! :)
Hey, I get my office furniture on Craigslist too! You can get great deals on used office furniture that way, and its the kinda thing that really doesn’t matter if it’s used or new.
I once tried a milder version of extreme couponing and ended up having a whole bunch of mr. clean scrubbers! It was neither frugal nor cheap. Plain stupid.
I admit I do succomb to the occassional “as seen on tv” miracle cure myself.
The hot water not only saves money, but there is evidence to suggest that cold showers can lead to increased fat loss! Check out “Cold Therapy”
Here’s my quick list:
A bed mattress
Anything health related
Sports equipment
House building items eg paint, fixtures, tiles, shower type, etc
Food in general, especially on vacation
Cruises
Not much else I think.
I don’t think many people think they are cheap, but goodness knows I’ve had my moments where I wonder.
You’re right, I forgot mattress! Can’t live without a pillow-top myself. Although I do consider that more of big ticket item I will try to negotiate (but not skimp on quality). And I’m with you on sporting goods as well.
Working in the restaurant business I’ve seen lots of cheap and generous people. The worst is when they say everything was wonderful, service was great, and they’ll be back and then see on a $40 check they’ve given 50 cents (no joke) or $1 and some change. Then of course there are people who are generous and tip cause I packed their togo order.
I would say I’m cheap sometimes and frugal most of the time.
I’ll spend money on food but not like $250 per person meals. Just a nice meal.
Yeah, some people just don’t think about how tipping really affects others, just their own wallet.
I straddle the line between CHEAP and FRUGAL most of the time. I agree with everything on your list. The Mrs. purchased these cheap TP once and we all made fun of it. I imagine these are the TP they use in jail or high school.
Yeah, I’d feel like I was in prison too! Did you see the episode of the Office where Dwight had a machine to split the two ply paper into one to save money? Hilarious!
I’m on the border line. i mean, sometimes I take things too far and put myself through pain to savea couple bucks. For example, I refuse to buy a bed and use old furnished ones instead! i know I know, I should be frugal and get my own…
Another way I’ve seen people go cheap is to eat out at hotels for free. Since the hotel has no idea if you’re paying for a room or not, it;s quite easy. I’ve never done this but it has been tempting. You could save thousands haha.
Great article!
wow, stealing from hotels….that does lean towards the cheap side just a little bit
I’d say that leans towards the illegal side!
I didn’t think either term was offensive until you wrote this article. I would characterize myself as value conscious! I try to maximize when I can, the value of the experience, service or product. Am I always successful? No! I like high quality, but I am unwilling to pay retail for it. For example, I bought a high quality mattress, but through a jobber.
value conscious….i like that term. not quite sure what a jobber is though.
Some industries have wholesalers or middlemen between the manufacturer and the retail store. Certain industries call them jobbers.
interesting….i learned something new.
I am with krantcents; I live in frugal decadence–getting the things I want but at a severe discount. I basically refuse to pay full price; most things you just can walk away from if you can’t find a good deal.
Based on the definition and examples you’ve noted for cheap vs. frugal, I’d say I fall squarely in the Frugal category.
Personally, I’m a big proponent of taking a broader view and really thinking about decisions instead of taking a default “cheaper the better” approach. By this, I mean that sometimes it’s just not worth the time and effort to save a small amount of money. For example, driving 30 minutes to save 5 cents per gallon on gas. That’s ludicrous no matter how anyone looks at it. Or, leaving a 5% tip for good service. Again, ludicrous, as fair expecations are 15% or somewhere in that range.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done things like picking up coins at a drive-thru window to save a few cents. I have a friend that used to pay $10.02 (or one/two pennies over a any whole dollar amount)for gas, pay $10 cash, and take 2 cents from the take a penny jar in order to save a little. OK, maybe that’s excessive:) But the idea is that if you try to save pennies, just make it such that you’re not exerting extra effort or time into the process. Otherwise, as in the case of driving 30 minutes to save a nickel per gallon of gas, it’s being cheap….and foolish!
So, I’d say based on those definitions you provided, frugal is the way to go!
interesting little trick with the pennies….sounds like he really needed the cash :)
I was chuckling the whole time I was reading this. I wrote a similar post a while back and you echoed my thoughts. I’ve been accused of being cheap, and sometimes when the budget is really tight I’ve had to be cheap. But I definitely prefer to be frugal. Too many people get the two mixed up.
The funny thing is being cheap can actually cost you more money in the long run (like your gas savings example). I know a lot of people who think they’re really smart with money but they’re just cheap. Too funny!
Alright I am and have been cheap. I’m not offended by it, BUT I use the term cheap quite a bit when I’m actually being frugal. I haven’t but would conceivably shop for clothes at the thrift store; walk when I run out of my weekly budget for gas; had breakfast for dinner; regularly and secretly water down the juices and not tell my family; grow my own veggies in the summer; show up to locations that advertise free stuff, get it and leave; waited all year for Black Friday deals to buy a hot HP external drive for half the price; clips coupons before shopping… okay fine, I’m cheap. To hell with it.
Love it! It’s good to wear it like a badge of honor. No shame in it imo.
Nah, you’re really just frugal. You’re satisfying your own values which to me is not cheap at all. Some people just confuse cheap with frugal and vice versa. To me a cheap person is someone that will knowingly harm themselves, compromise their own values or waste their own time just to save a couple of bucks!
@Matt- Glad you enjoyed it.
@Sandy- I’m not one to judge….but I love your website “Yes I Am Cheap”…..so I guess maybe I can call you cheap. :)
[…] it all?You may be thinking I am just cheap! Or Maybe I am Frugal (check out this Yakezie article: Are You Frugal or Cheap?).Related Posts BMost Expensive WeddingsMost Expensive Celebrity DivorcesTibetan Mastiff – […]
I think I’m mostly Frugal. I won’t sacrifice quality over quantity at most cases.
I agree on not being cheap with regards to food, health and educational experiences. These are the top 3 things I won’t splurge on much but I definitely won’t settle for less. :)
To me being frugal means maximizing the value of one’s time and money. If you’re being “cheap” you’re not really doing that — either you are going to spend more time or more money overall, or you will get less for your time and money. Frugal is a great thing for everyone to practice, but it doesn’t mean we need to skimp on the basic necessities or endanger ourselves just to save a couple of bucks!
Nunzio and Kevin- Sounds like we’re all in agreement, being value conscious without sacrificing quality is definitely frugal, not cheap.
Frugal. I’m definitely frugal. Thank goodness!!!
[…] also have to mention Car Negotiation Coach‘s recent post on the Yakezie titled “Are You Frugal or Cheap?“, which is also a great post on the […]
I’m definitely more frugal than cheap. I will take my time as well to buy quality electronics while I pick the store brand when it comes to buying shaving cream!
I like this post as there is really a fine line between frugal and cheap in my eyes! I definitely want to make sure I’m getting a bang for my buck, but it kills me when people drive out of their way for a bargain or stock up on things (they generally didn’t need) just because they had a coupon! As a side note on the tipping, last time my boyfriend and I were at a local ice cream shop in our town, we gave our waitress a $20 tip just because it was crazy and we knew she was probably in high school working for the summer. The order was rather small, but to see how excited she got was worth the money. My point is that I don’t skimp on my tips because that person is working just as hard as you to make their money. If you have waitressed, you know how it feels to be in the weeds and handle difficult customers, but it stinks to work like crazy and get a small tip. If you cannot afford to tip, try a less expensive restaurant!
I like it…I’m a big fan of the unexpected huge tip….always a crowd pleaser!
When I was younger, I was cheap. Now trying to be more frugal. I used to hit a lot of fast foods, but now trying to eat better. Frugal and healthy, perfect one two punch.
I am probably both frugal and cheap. Sometimes there is also a fine line that separates frugality from plain cheapness. Also, when you are being frugal, some people may just accuse you that you are too cheap. You may eat out at a less expensive restaurant and leave a generous tip, but still people may think you are cheap.
I’m definitely on the frugal side, however I can be cheap. I often reuse aluminum foil! There’s definitely a balance and I would never make friends join my cheap ways if they don’t want. (I want to buy the store brand but if everyone is eating I will chip in for the name brand)
Re-using aluminum foil is just plain smart. Of course I often do it because I’m too lazy to grab another piece rather than to save money, but who cares.
[…] Is there a difference between being frugal and cheap? Yakezie banters semantics and looks at how to live life to the fullest without paying full […]
I agree with your analysis of these types of “money savers”. We can easily cross the line from being smart and frugal, to being blindly cheap. I think that when we fail to consider the big picture, we can become “cheap”.
a lot of the “cheap” things on your list will actually end up costing MORE in the long run … as you point out, driving far away to save a few cents on gas could end up costing more, but so could failing to take care of a preventative/maintenance health issue and failing to educate yourself/your kids.
I used to buy cheap toilet paper, but never again! I will pay a few cents per square extra to have something nice.
I agree that there is a big difference between cheap and frugal. I am comparing quotes fro our can insurance renewal. I won’t only look at price but level of cover and excesses too.
I like this list, it really resonates with me. Personally, I don’t want to make my own toilet paper or soap but if someone else does and they can then that’s awesome.