In a recent article by David Brooks published in The New Yorker, a neuroscientist is quoted to have said, “ . . . flourishing consists of putting yourself in situations in which you lose self-consciousness and become fused with other people, experiences, or tasks. It happens sometimes when you are lost in a hard challenge, or when an artist or a craftsman becomes one with the brush or the tool. It happens sometimes while you’re playing sports, or listening to music or lost in a story, or to some people when they feel enveloped by God’s love. And it happens most when we connect with other people. I’ve come to think that happiness isn’t really produced by conscious accomplishments. Happiness is a measure of how thickly the unconscious parts of our minds are intertwined with other people and with activities. Happiness is determined by how much information and affection flows through us covertly every day and year.”

The scientist’s description reminded me of a time in high school when I truly exulted in the feeling of success, after I had finished playing a Class A piece on my cello in front of a judge at a local Solo & Ensemble Festival. Even before the judge had a chance to critique my performance, I felt that I had done very well and mastered the things I had been practicing for several months preceding the festival. I was able to “lose self-consciousness and become fused” with the music that I was producing on my cello, and I felt immense pride in my ability to simultaneously love and play a piece of music that had proved to be tedious and challenging to learn. Playing a beautiful piece well in a room filled with a judge and other strangers gave me a genuine sense of accomplishment.

In my opinion, there is no universal definition of success, but the scientist who was quoted in the article triumphantly encompasses a range of activities and preoccupations that have promising potential to make a person feel happy and, more specifically, successful. Notice he mentions “ . . . it happens most when we connect with other people.” It is indicated, study after study, that human interaction and connection is vital to the well-being of an individual. Accordingly, striving to constantly improve oneself in order to have a positive, healthy, and meaningful relationship with people and the world is my personal definition of success.

I also agree with scientists who claim that possessing a higher level of emotional intelligence rather than intellectual intelligence can actually be more conducive to achieving greater, lifelong success and happiness. One who is more in-tune with and able to control his or her emotions is better fit to handle the various situations, changes, and challenges presented by life. An emotionally stable person can endure most anything that may come his or her way, regardless of pure intellectual ability. Therefore, I believe that an important form of success is the ability to manage emotions intelligently.

Just as much as success is defined individually, it is also, at first, pursued selfishly. I often wonder if obtaining a college education is nothing but an egocentric and narcissistic endeavor, just a necessary checkmark to get ahead in society, prove my intellectual capabilities to future bosses, and ensure a more handsome salary. But then I remember that a college education not only provides concrete, material, practical knowledge, but also encourages me to build character and to improve my self-discipline. This character and self-discipline, in effect, will help me to positively influence, connect, and share my knowledge with others, and to me that is success.

In this same manner, I believe that success begins with taking care of my mind and body. It continues with spreading enthusiasm for forward progress and demonstrating courage and persistence in the face of adversity. Success is achieved by giving precious energy and attention to things that really matter and by preserving one’s identity in all situations, embracing individuality. Giving of oneself to others in need, in attempt to generate a better balance in the world, equals success, as does speaking assertively rather than stridently with adults, fellow peers, and loved ones. Success is neither money nor status – success is generosity and kindness. Most importantly, ultimate success is the blend of all things mentioned above, and is reached by knowing that one’s own contentment, self-actualization, and fulfillment are not simply selfish possessions but also indirect, selfless contributions to loved ones and to the world, in the form of genuine warmth, caring, understanding, and giving.

Such is the relationship between success and happiness. Success is a form of happiness, and happiness is a form of success. When one succeeds at one’s truest and most genuine aspirations, one undoubtedly feels fulfilled, and a person fulfilled is a person who cannot help but radiate and spread happiness to others.