Everyone wants to be successful in their life. That’s the easy part. The bigger question that’s open to interpretation: what’s the measure of success? Is it money, possessions, a happy family, self satisfaction, a life of leisure, a career you enjoy? Is it all of these — or none of these? So just how do you measure success anyway? This essay will attempt to answer this question as well as define it by my personal measuring stick.

I do believe success is relative and what success means to one person isn’t what another’s person’s viewpoint might be. It is open to interpretation. There are many attributes for success: hard work, determination, integrity, responsibility – just to name a few. These attributes are universal and would serve anyone in achieving the kind of life they want. However, in the quest for success as defined by society, many have forsaken good character traits to make more money. Some have gone so far as to steal and become dishonest and untrustworthy in their dealings as evidenced by the mortgage crisis, the banking bailout and multiple Wall Street scandals. If you lose your strength of character and your personal integrity, there is no “success” that can make up for that. Selling your soul to the devil for earthly riches never works out well for the seller. You eventually lose everything. Without respect and trust from your fellow man, you have nothing really.

We all make mistakes and nobody’s perfect. Instead, it is more important to learn from our mistakes and strive for perfection. Life is a process and it’s more about how you travel down that road than what the destination is.  A successful life can reflect many failures along the way; in fact, those failures may indeed help bring about the success. Sometimes getting a door slammed in your face helps you to find another open door that leads you where you need to be.

Right out of high school, I discovered this to be true for myself. I chose to move far away from my family and friends to Hawaii to attend college and major in engineering. I thought it was important to choose a career that would bring in the money – one that was practical. Even though music is my passion I decided against pursuing it in college. After all, what do you do with an arts major? What kind of job could I get with a music degree? So I enrolled in the Honors College of Engineering. Although I enjoyed Hawaii (who wouldn’t?) the cost of living was high and I couldn’t get much help from my family. I also painfully learned I was not cut out to be an Engineer as the rigorous course load got to me. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it – it was that I didn’t want to. There were some classes I dreaded going to and I sometimes chose not to go. Then a light bulb came on! I was SPENDING money attending classes I didn’t like and majoring in something I didn’t enjoy. This wasn’t right. So I, with a touch of remorse, decided to leave the university and go back home after that first year. Yes, it felt like an epic fail and I was embarrassed. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

However, it taught me an important lesson. My mom has often told me to follow your heart and your passion. Do what you like and the money will follow. I was trying, in my quest to be successful, to put the money first. So I decided to change my major and go after a degree in music; specifically sound engineering/production. I am enrolling in a school that I can better fit around working full time. So my attempt at success turned into a failure which is now being turned back into a success story. I also have a better chance to be happy with my career choice than before. If you enjoy what you’re doing so much you would do it for free in your spare time AND you get paid for it, how much better can it get?

How are happiness and success connected? Do you have to be successful to be happy? Once again, these questions are best answered on an individual basis. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” is an oft-repeated colloquialism; success is in the eye of the beholder could be just as applicable. Some people just want to be happy and they don’t need society’s expectations of success to achieve that. Conversely, many successful people by society’s standards are not happy. “Money can’t buy happiness” is another phrase I believe in. The headlines are full of celebrities and other high profile people with money that ruin their lives. Lindsey Lohan is not much older than me and has just about ruined her life as bad as a teen prostitute living out on the streets taking drugs every day. While most would agree she is successful, the question becomes “at what cost?”

A hobo traveling when and where he wants who is not beholden to a job or huge responsibilities may be happier than a high-level business executive making six figures, driving a Ferrari and living in a mansion. That businessman may be rich, but if he never gets any free time to spend with his family or on things he enjoys, he may be miserable. When it comes right down to it, leading a happy full life of one’s choosing is the greatest measure of success. And in the end, that is the standard by which I will measure my success.