“What are you going to be when you grow up?” my mom questioned five-year-old me.
“I don’t know. Maybe a princess?” I answered innocently.
“I think you should be a doctor. They make lots of money,” my mom hinted. “And they help lots of people too,” she added to make that suggestion seem more friendly.
Five years later….
“What are you going to be when you grow up?” my mom asked ten-years-old me.
“Whatever I guess,” I replied and went back to watching television. It was not that I was going through my rebellious stage already; I genuinely did not care what I become.
“I think you should be a doctor,” my mom started and continued on about her dream for me.
Another five years later and the same scene are played. Nothing has changed except for my answer: “I have until junior year to really think about it.” My mom’s advice was still the same.
Now that I look back at, maybe I should have stood up for myself and strongly told my mom, not disrespectfully, but assertively that I do not want to be a doctor. That I will find my own dream, follow it, and be happy, whether I make a lot of money or not. Unfortunately, my mouth would not let my message be conveyed even though that same message was screaming in my head.
Three years later. I am currently a senior.
“Do you know where are you going to school? Do you know what you’re going for?” someone asks.
“Yes, I do,” I tell them proudly but I think I am just trying to convince myself that I like this future career. Although it’s not a doctor, the field is very similar, you know dentist, pharmacist, scientist, something like that. I know I will be able to support my future family and I will never be homeless. I know that it’s a respectable job and I’ll get to help the community. I’m good at the subjects that I am going into so I will be safe. Since I do not know what my passion is anyways, I might as well choose a career that is stable. Are all of these excuses? Do they sound like excuses?
Although this may seem like a weak way to live, all that’s left to do is live out my path because I’ve already picked my school and my major already. Even though this path was only half-picked by me, it does not mean I cannot live out an adventurous and inspiring life. I am going to be optimistic about my future because only time will tell if this was the right choice for me.
A dream doesn’t have to be solely an individual’s dream. It could be like an old family recipe that is passed down. Or a forgotten and unfinished dream from the parents. It could be borrowed from a neighbor or stolen from a friend. It could be copied from an idol or sold for money. Since dreams come in so many forms and shapes, they cannot be judged.
There is no rubric for how a dream should look or act. And ever since I was accepted into my first choice college, that became my dream school. When I decided on my major, that became my dream major that will ultimately lead to my dream job. Even though my dreams come to me after I make decisions, it does not mean I am less motivated or that I will regret my decisions one day in the far future.
There will always be regrets in life. No one is 100% happy with their dream. Something could always be tweaked and made a little bit better. Since my dream is both my parents and mine, I’ll just have to believe that I’ll be twice as happy!
It’s good to have your own dreams. Often times, I feel our parents know best, which means we should head their advice as well.
A hybrid of both dreams is a good idea. Education is expensive, and you want to make the most out of it as well as follow your interests.
Good luck!
thank you for your comment. I’m very excited about my future! I want to know how this “hybrid dream” will come out and if I’ll be happy with my life later on.
No problem Emily. What is this career that you are thinking of pursuing exactly? I couldn’t quite figure it out. Thx
I have often seen friends do this, follow what their parents want. Some end up really happy, others change careers later in life. I do think parents tend to know a lot and we should listen to their advice, but if we can follow that with following our own dreams, all the better. I was fortunate to have parents who were supportive of whatever it was we wanted to do and who wanted to help us achieve it.
Having a dream is necessary to set focus. In the early years, parents should provide guidance, later on you can decide the path.
Here’s to your future!
I think it’s hard for a lot of people to know what they want to do while still in school. That’s why getting in as many internships during college is important – you can try out different fields to see what career paths interest you the most and fill out your resume at the same time.
It’s so funny–I think so many parents want their kids to be doctors because of the good pay. But think about that commitment–hundreds of thousands of dollars and a decade of schooling! You should become a doctor only if you are really committed to it because it will become your life.
Even though parents should give their opinion about a career path the ultimate decision should be left to the children.
I am glad you know where you’re going!
Emily, you are young and there are so many path your life could take. Life is a long journey and you can always pursue different interests. It’s great to get a good start with a college education. Good luck!
Your adventure certainly is not over and your path is not paved. Things will change direction, stuff will happen and you will change as a person…. Just keep the dreams and passion alive and follow them with a good dose of being sensible :)
You still have plenty of time to follow your dreams. However, keep in mind that you have to take care of your responsibilities first!
This reminds me of the poem by Langston Hughes called “Dreams”.
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
He also had another one called “A Dream Deferred”.
although I don’t really understand what the poem means, I like it. thank you! :D
In the end you gotta choose your own destiny, but it’s always helpful to be given some good guidance along the way. Best of luck in following your dreams! :)
hi! i just want to say thank you very much for all the comments. it means so much to me to have people read my writing and comment about it. thank you!!!
It’s important to step out on your own dreams and not those of your parents or family. That way you will have no one to blame for your success or failure. I know you will succeed in whatever you choose to do!
Im guessing your parents are Asian? Correct me if I’m wrong . I think Asian parents are the ‘loving tiger’ type who only why the best for their Children. However, come to think of it, wouldn’t all parents want the best for their kids,?
hi! yes my parents are asian :D