Most of us do not remember the first time we made it to the potty in time, rendering our quest for bathroom training a success, nor do we remember the first time we were able to write our name or tie a shoe. However, despite our amnesia towards early childhood, from the time we escape the confines of mommy’s tummy we are surrounded with tasks or milestones, which, upon completion, define success. From the minute a baby is born a hypothetical success meter is tied around their ankle in order to compute their level of success. First word, seven months; success. First steps, two months past expectations; failure.  The social requirement to succeed follows an infant from toddler to teen to college to career. But what really defines success? Can the answer really be that success is only defined by completing the socially defined steps of life, what our parents, teachers or employers set forth as necessary to succeed?  For someone who values those ideals then sure, success can very well be following the yellow brick road that mommy and Mr. Man have paved. But real success is not meeting the goals of others, but rather living up to the ideals that are inherent to the person we all know as I. Call me silly, but to me true success is measured by no one other than the person who is in fact trying to succeed. My success is on my terms; that is what I believe.

I recently transferred from a community college where I began my secondary education to the university where I have dreamt of attending since high school. This seems normal and nothing more than an ordinary transfer until I disclose the fact that the school is a private institution costing around twenty-five thousand dollars a year. My family’s financial situation is in no shape to pay the tuition of a state or community college let alone a private school that costs more than an arm and a leg.  My mother works two jobs just to pay for our necessities, we don’t have an extra 25k lying around. I met with an admissions counselor at my new school just to see how far my 3.5 GPA would take me and I left the meeting with a smile that tickled my ears; SUCCESS full ride! Or so I thought. I registered for classes dismissed offers from other, cheaper schools and prepared to attend the school of my choice.  My award notice arrived approximately two weeks after the application deadline for other schools. The letter informed me that the scholarship that I had been promised was no longer being offered by the university and I owed A LOT of money.  My success had quickly turned into a very expensive failure. I learned immediately to make my own success. Despite the fact that my school dug me a ditch and tossed me in it, I enjoy my classes and love my professors. I am exactly where I want to be and regardless of money have reached my goals in terms of school; I am successful.

Despite having received an essentially nonexistent scholarship, being forced to find alternative funds and incurring massive amounts of debt, I am happy. My grades are excellent, my future is bright and I have met every goal that I have set for myself; I am successful. If you define success the way I do, then happiness and success are not mutually exclusive, they come as a package deal. If you are the one who defines your success, how could you not be happy when you succeed? If you let someone or something else define your terms, then sure maybe its possible to be successful and unhappy. Although, how can you really consider anyone successful if they are unhappy, it doesn’t make sense. Shouldn’t happiness be an intrinsic quality of the word success?  A philosopher named Ralph Waldo Emerson sums up the idea of success in one very philosopher like, yet fairly simple quote; “I fear the popular notion of success stands in direct opposition in all points to the real and wholesome success. One adores public opinion, the other, private opinion; one, fame, the other, desert; one, feats, the other, humility; one, lucre, the other, love; one, monopoly, and the other, hospitality of mind.”