Motivation is hard to come by sometimes, especially when you’re a normal person with a regular life. If you’ve got your health, some spending money, a family, a pet chihuahua and a couple friends… what more do you want in life? There’s really no need to break your back to do much of anything really. Life is simple, yet so perfectly mundane.
I have a problem with motivation. I know I should be working harder many times, but I encounter the “good enough” syndrome. In tennis, “isn’t being a starter on the team good enough? Do I really need to try and play #1?” At work, “isn’t a AA performance rating and 10 hours a day good enough? I used to work 11-12 hours a day, but my hunger has normalized. Online, “Isn’t posting 3-4X a week, commenting/interacting with 10 other bloggers a day while maintaining Yakezie.com good enough?” I should probably do a better job with @Yakezie on Twitter and stop by the Yakezie public forums more.
It’s easy for me to be happy with what I have and tire because of “good enough”. There isn’t much more that I want, or need, except for unsprainable ankles and more free time. Anybody else content like this? I have very little desire to want more, which is a far change of attitude up until my mid-20s. I’m surrounded by constant innovation and wealth in the Bay Area, yet I’m so happy to have a regular job and maintain the Yakezie Network. I think all of us like the tight-knit group that expands slowly, rather than build it quickly and lose a lot of our culture.
Practically everything I do, I try and fly under the radar. I want people to think I’m slow on the tennis court, dumb during debate, and know little about any venture I undertake. Just the other day, I brought up the idea of creating a personal finance and lifestyle network with my poker buddies to see what they’d think, and they laughed off the idea saying I was too much of a “twit”, and don’t have the “creativity” or the “know-how” to make it happen. I was so happy they made fun of me for the idea because it’s exactly the type of motivation I need. With every project I undertake, I purposefully seek rejection to give me that inexhaustible energy to forge on through.
WAYS TO INCREASE MOTIVATION AND INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF SUCCESS
* Make yourself have nothing. At the end of each month, I channel ALL my income out of my main bank so that I literally have nothing left. The money gets spread across six different channels (CDs, savings, and investment portfolios), which hopefully earn a decent return. They are all not to be touched again until I stop working. When you have no money, you become motivated to make sure you don’t slack off at work or on your endeavors, and your mind starts thinking of ways to build wealth and stay on track. Whenever I’m exhausted, I think back to my 8 hour days at McDonald’s making $3.12/hour and think, stop being so weak and unthankful, keep on going!
* Seek humiliation and rejection. One of the main reasons why I go to this obnoxious poker game on Friday nights is because many of the people there cut each other down and brag about how great they are. The game is filled with lawyers, venture capitalists, entrepreneurs, and internet folk who are very smart, but also quite arrogant. Meanwhile, I like to dress homely in my sweats and baseball cap and just listen. Every single time I bring up a business idea, they poke fun at me because they think I’m stupid and don’t have any financial means or connections to get things done. It’s also part of the reason why I will never host a game for them at my house, because they will instantly change their perception of me. It’s so gratifying to get cut down because it just helps put a couple new logs in the pit to let my motivational fire rage.
* Make some enemies. They don’t have to be mortal enemies, just people you dislike enough to help give you the energy to push you farther than them. Think about college or professional sports. There is always some deep rooted rivalry that gets a team up more than any other match up. It’s the same thing with your own endeavors. Nobody gets a long with everybody anyway, so you might as well pick someone you don’t really like and magnify your tension. He or she will keep you on your competitive toes so you don’t get complacent. I have less-than-friendly opponents in tennis, business, blogging (blogemies), and poker. Enemies are great sources of energy!
FINAL THOUGHTS
Count your blessings if you live in America, or any country that allows you to live freely. Americans are one of the top income earners in the world! Sure, we are currently in a re-distribution of wealth phase. However, you don’t want to fall in that camp of depending on the government and others for you to succeed. You have to depend on your own motivation to win your own success!
It’s so easy to get complacent. We eat our hearts out while millions of people are starving. We disrespect our parents even though they worked hard to provide us a good upbringing. We expect instant gratification, because that’s all we’ve been use to. It’s one thing to be happy and complacent. It’s another to be complacent and never do much of anything. Believe you will succeed and you will have all the motivation you’ll ever need.
Readers, what are some of the things you do to increase your motivation and succeed?
Photo credit: National Park Service
Best,
Sam
I think we are a lot alike, Sam. Sometimes we seek the advice of others, knowing already that they’ll shoot down our idea before we even ask. For some reason, this builds a fire in our gut and makes us want to prove them wrong!
I don’t think this works for everyone though. For some, a little laughter from a friend could cause the idea to be haulted immediately. It depends on the personality I suppose. If someone doesn’t handle rejection well, I would suggest that they begin the project under the radar, without telling anyone.
I guess it does depend a little on personality. I get the sense that the more developed a nation we become, the weaker we get mentally as things and comforts replace our struggles. Zynga’s model for its games is always positive reinforcement because they’ve found that negative reinforcement causes their clients to quit. It’s failures that cause me to want to try more.
Those who compete in sports know this feeling of abject failure quite well. They just train harder than ever and try, try again until their bodies break. And if they never win, they will know that they did everything possible to succeed.
I’d also have to say that the more developed we become, the weaker we get mentally. I cant believe some of the things I hear people complaining about!
I like your ideas sam, though I must say Im not the type that will purposefully seek rejection – my strategy when trying to get things done is to seek out people who are also interested in whatever it is and get them to join. We get to know each other and we can work on something together. I actually had a great idea that I’ll sit down and discuss with a few friends here in the next week or 2.
I think you’re right about the differences for motivation – one can be very happy and have nothing and not need motivation – they’ve got all they need, but they had to work up to that point to get it.
It’s sad when people have nothing that they want and dont want to work to get it. In my mind, they dont want it that bad.
Hi Jeff, as someone who tends to lose motivation quite easily (sub title), these are just strategies that I employ and recommend others to do.
Sometimes, after a 12 hour day, I’m not really motivated to work on my online endeavors. However, I pretend I have nothing and remind myself of all the rejections in the beginning to keep on going.
I also try and see who hasn’t e-mailed me back in over a week and use that as motivation too. Just little things here and there.
I can relate to some of the motivation sources, Sam. At least in terms of getting dismissed by others being motivating.
Normally, I try to live my own life according to my own standards and interests, and not worry aobut trying to beat others just for the sake of doing so. This means that if someone I know succeeds, I’m generally happy for them and don’t compare what I’m doing with what they’re doing, at least not too much. It’s just how I roll, most of the time.
HOWEVER….I’ve always had it in me to react differently when someone dismisses me or underestimates me. This could mean classifying me in some way, or assuming I won’t achieve high success in some endeavor or capacity. That type of marginalization has always poured kerosene on the fire big time.
So yes, I can typically be quite content and simply try to achieve personal goals that aren’t competitive with others. Usually completely tranquil. But the rejection/dismissal by others still does get me highly motivated (“I’ll show them!”, or “He isn’t smarter than me”, “I can’t wait to see her face when I totally shock her with this success”, etc)
Good point in the comments above on how we might get weaker as a nation as we get more developed. It’s toughness that helped achieve the success that we’re living off today, in the first place..
Sounds good Ray. I’m generally pretty happy go lucky too. If I do accidentally come across some arrogance or rejection, I really enjoy bottling it up and drinking it up! It’s better to be at peace of course. Sometimes, you just need that added prodding and slap down.
Sam, what an interesting concept – I hadn’t thought about forcing myself into a situation to increase my desire. I do believe that the comfort being in the upper middle class has provided me does give some resistance to progressing as fast as I could. I call it middle class apathy.
I need to be cut down Sam. Most people I’m around aren’t really motivated to seriously contribute at a high level. So it might be worth some rejection. It reminds me of making contact with a guy in a private equity firm. His firm invests in our company and he’s worth a few hundred million. I emailed him and actually got a response.
He told me to seek those out in my circles of management here at the company. It was a blow to realize that I just wasn’t at his level to be worth considered talking to directly.
Thanks as always Sam. Two key points: give myself nothing and get cut down. I’ll take that to heart.
Hey Jeremy – Good to hear from you man. If you’re middle class or upper middle class, it’s SO easy to just chill and do your own thing. There’s really no need to do more. But, if you rediscover your inner ambitions one day, and find yourself a little stuck, then this post is for your or anybody who is complacent.
We’re all busy doing our own thing, so the rejections we get generally shouldn’t be taken personally. However, I like to trick myself into taking them a little personally to recharge my batteries.
If you have nothing, you fight like hell to survive. Life’s pretty darn easy in America compared to all the other countries I’ve been to. We need to remind ourselves how good we have it more often.
Goiod points and makes sense. Still I feel it’s better that I look for competitions rather than enemies. Always choose a more successful person as your competition and try to win from him. This will be a great motivation to beat him in every aspects he’s good at
Enemies is admittedly a harsh term. However, if you think about it, every super successful person has several enemies.
SAm, This article presents a viewpoint quite divergent from my own. Although I love to appear down to earth and modest, I don’t seek out rejection. I have practically everything I want but am filled with “internal motivation.” I hate rejection. When I experience it I use the negative response to propel me onward. But, my preference would be to avoid rejection and negativity!!!!
Thought provoking article.
The sub-title of this post addresses your issue. Some of us have lost that internal motivation because we have become complacent. That’s me sometimes.
I like adulation just like the next person, but at some point, when you do a good enough job, the adulation stops feeling as good and you begin to get used to it and tire.
If you have endless internal self motivation, I commend you. I don’t, and I wonder if others don’t either.
Thx!
Interesting stuff Sam. When it comes to business/financial goals, my motivation comes mainly from my desire to earn enough online to quit my day job. Part of that comes from my goal of having the financial freedom to be able to do what I want when I want, and part of it is my need to spend more time with my kids while they are still little.
Those are pretty strong motivators for me to keep pumping away (though I have periods where I slack off now and then). I think it all depends on our individual priorities.
I am extremely competitive! Many times I am competing with myself. I reflect on my decisions and work on improving them.. Perhaps I am self motivated to be my best.
I agree with Krantcents – my motivation is to be the best personally. I don’t need enemies, or feel like I have nothing. I simply want to strive to be the best!
Rob – If all you need is your own deserve to be the best as motivation, than more power to you. I’m not that lucky. I easily accept good enough in a lot of things I do. I know I should try harder a lot of times, but my “good enough” mentality often times comes in. Like in tennis, I feel good enough to be a starter, and I’m not that motivated to be the #1 player b/c I know it takes a tremendous amount of work to get to that ultimate level.
At work, I have to remind myself to focus more because I’m so comfortable. I need to get a little uncomfortable sometimes to be more value-added. The list gos on and on for me. Consider yourself lucky!
My motivation remains the end target I am after: building income streams in order to achieve at least semi-financial independence.
why this end target? Because I do not enjoy my work field anymore and I discovered a new hobby that has the potential of fulfilling the income stream idea. Like you Sam, I always try to stay below the radar with friends and especially at work, but one day it’s going to be all out like a Pearl Harbor strike and this will be a decisive victory in my life.
LOL, sounds good man! Hope there aren’t any collateral damages when the bombs are let flying!
Surprisingly I use mind trick much like you do.
In college, often I wanted to go out with my friends and party. For my junior and senior years, I move into a small (but cheap) apartment and pretended it was prison. The only way that I let myself out was if I got all of my computer programs wrote. It worked but it was harsh.
I too create blogemies that I compete against and when they are beaten I find a new bigger blog enemy that I compete against (nobody in Yakezie though!). That way, I keep motivated to stay in the game…
My problem is that my motivation pulses… I have extremely focused periods followed my periods of staleness, then extreme focus again. I wish I could just always be on, I think I would be much more successful if I were…
Don, I hear you on the ebbs and flows of motivation. We need a more stable current through our veins, with the occasional circuit breaker!
After a while, motivation just fades, and it’s so easy to just GIVE UP! I hate that, because I despise quitters in a country where we have so much to offer.
Great jail room example!
I was just thinking about this the other day. It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut or get too content with how things are. I try to count my blessings every day and think about how little so many people have in the world. Being able to give back and help others is so rewarding and has much more meaning than buying more material things for ourselves. I’m reminding myself of this more and more as I get older and it’s one of my motivations. I want to work harder so I can help others more.
Sounds like some great goals Sydney. It’s an honorable path, so keep it up!
Definitely some interesting thoughts as always, Sam. I’m definitely the type who has trouble keeping up his motivation. Perhaps I’ll have to try some of the techniques you mentioned, to see if they can drive me to be more motivated. They couldn’t hurt, particularly finding some enemies who could keep me on my toes.
Don’t go too overboard on finding the enemies though! Just think back on someone who might have offended you or slighted you in some small way. Magnify it to the point where it gives you some extra drive.
Have to agree with the point that you make about feeling like having nothing. I generally parcel out my entire check as soon as it comes until I am down to very little for the next two weeks. Even though the rest has gone to saving and investing and technically it’s still ‘mine’. I pretend it’s not there and it motivates me to continue working with full effort on my side ventures. Any source of income could be gone at any moment and I don’t want to be dependent on any single source.
Great article, Sam. I think we all can use the advice on how to keep the drive up, especially as it relates to running a blog. Thanks for all that you do here. Anonymous or not around home, you are a force for good in the blogging world.
Thanks Pat. I think Challengers constantly motivate me because they remind me of where I started. I don’t want to forget my roots. BTW, check out gravatar.com and get yourself a picture. They are fun!
What you’re describing is intrinsic motivation. You know how to motivate yourself, which is vital in being successful and happy. As a teacher, I’m trying to limit motivators (like candy, stickers, etc.) because it squashes out intrinsic motivation. However, just this week I gave my summer class a survey on what I should change for next year and one little dude said, “more motivation.” I feel for that guy; he’s going to be awfully disappointed later in life! ;)
Hmmm, interesting. Never heard of intrinsic motivation before. So you are saying we have to figure out how to motivate ourselves, instead of having outside motivators for us to increase our chances of success and happiness. I got some work to do!
It sounds to me like you’re content with what you have, which is great. There’s no need to work hard for the sake of working hard. There is a far worse condition to be in, lacking contentment and motivation. Those are sad saps.
There’s really no need to do anything really. Life is way too easy in America. Work hard during school, don’t break the law, earn some money, and kick back. I just feel we have the capacity to do more, and strive to be better.
Nice article with a very honest tone :) I drive an older car, because cars are the worst investment as they depreciate as soon as you drive off the lot. Keeping the same car for many years has helped me build up my savings. :) It’s funny to see how some people, very materialistic as society has shaped them to be, just assume I don’t have a lot of money because I drive an old car. :) I don’t really care what other people say. Like your article points out, you know what you are capable of doing and it doesn’t matter what others think or say. :) Keeping my eye on the ball is what keeps me going….. many financial goals I want to achieve, especially helping others. :)
Interesting viewpoint. I don’t know if there is anything to motivate me to clean out the garage. I know I have to do it, but there is little consequence for not doing it and very little reward for getting it done. Although some of your solutions may work, I prefer min which are self motivated. I enjoy breaking down goals and working on achieving them. Crazy I know, but I get something out of accomplishing the goals.
I like to fly under the radar about our finances–I am a firm believer that people treat you differently depending on your income–but on other things I do not fly under the radar as much. Although now that I am writing this, I do realize that I am a private person…still, my father loves to fly under the radar about everything! He loves to sit back and watch people think that he is dumb. Then her just laughs and lets things reveal itself.
I love your motivation methods, Sam. Sometimes I can be personally pessimistic and lose the drive since I feel the end goal is so far away or I have self doubts. Other times I can visualize the goal quite clearly and that gives me a lot of drive and motivation. I haven’t thought of looking at it in quite the competitive way that you do, but it’s an interesting approach! I also like to keep things under the radar while listening to what other people have to say and learn from that.
Very interesting post. I’m usually the kind of person that feels like I’m not good enough so why even try. This, I know, is not good for motivation. I’m working on it.