I am convinced that graduating from college is one of the most important periods in almost everyone’s life. It is often the beginning of “real” adulthood. While college students may be legally adults, in many ways college often acts as a buffer zone for growing up. Depending on your parents’ financial stability and philosophy of parenting, you may not even have to pay for your expenses while in college.
If you were helped my mom and dad, graduation from college is often the cut off point. They may help you a couple months to adjust to life after college, but it is usually this point in American culture that parents force their children to grow up and take care of themselves financially. If you didn’t receive any financial support in college, you either sped up the process of maturity and worked your way through school or you took out loans.
College Is Often a Period of Idealism
It was about seven years ago that I entered my freshman year of college at a liberal arts school. My upbringing helped me value my education. I was extremely focused (with a few minor lapses of judgement, like any freshman) and made my studies the priority. Beyond graduating with good grades, I also valued paying for college with out debt. This meant that I was quite busy between going to classes, doing homework, and working (not to mention convincing Mrs. 20’s that she liked me enough to marry me). The only semester that I wasn’t working was my first semester, and even there I was doing volunteer work in agreement with one of my scholarships.
In honoring my education, I often took time to really learn my subject matter. I was memorizing facts, thinking about philosophical questions, and even how to make the world a better place. I was actively involved in volunteer projects and even helped create a feeding ministry to help hundreds of low-income residents on a monthly basis. In many ways, I believed that I could change the world for a better place.
Despite the suggestions of those closest to me suggesting that I seek a practical degree or develop more tangible skills, I was insistent on following my own dreams and passions. I was convinced that I could make it work and I would much rather work hard to get where I want than to settle for some safe alternative. While I am grateful for my time in college and liberal arts education, I was in for a little bit of a crash course of reality after graduating.
Coming to Grips with Reality after Graduation
The months following graduation were filled with excitement and anticipation. I was not only planning the final details for my wedding, but also getting ready to travel abroad for a year. My fiance at the time and I were going to be teachers in another country. We didn’t just see it as an opportunity to teach English, but a way to bring about positive and sustainable change in the world. It seemed like the perfect extension of my idealism that filled my college career.
It was only 6 weeks later that our world turned upside down. After each of us being sick three times (and losing 20 pounds) from improper treatment of the food provided to us and not seeing any progress towards the improving the situation, we decided to give up our teaching aspirations and come home. It was a difficult decision and it marked a turning point in our lives. During the month that we nursed ourselves back to health, we had to decide what to do with our lives. I had already been accepted to graduate school and postponed enrollment for a year, so that was the next logical step. That was the easy part.
We were also forced to figure out where we were going to live, where we were going to work or how we would afford to live, and so forth. We also needed to buy a car because we had sold both of our cars before leaving the country. Luckily, we had money to buy it outright instead of having to look at financing or leasing a car. The additional payment would have made surviving that much harder. I remember the days of having about $200 each month to spare (and that’s including not eating out once).
As many college graduates have to do in order to pay the bills, I was forced to take a job that I hated. I hated the job and I hated who I worked for and with. The only good thing about the job is that it set me up for a better job about a year later, which would pay for the second half of my graduate studies. I was forced to realize that you most likely won’t be able to get your dream job right out of college and you have to make sacrifices sometimes. I don’t think I would go so far to say that I have given up on my dreams or aspiration from college (completely), but I have changed them.
As with my situation, college graduation marks the period where you are forced to get a “real” job and pay the bills. Depending on your life and financial situation, you may have more or less flexibility than others, but there are a lot of changes in a short period of time. How you adjust to this reality will influence your life for years to come.
Readers, did you experience a harsh reality of adulthood after graduation or was it a slow transition?
College really was a BLAST! I kind of wish it never ended. It is ridiculous all the crazy things that were done. Hmmmm, best not speak more of this subject.
Anyhoo, that’s great you worked throughout college to pay your bills! Must really give you appreciation for money and education. I often wonder what becomes of folks who get a free ride, and who’ve never tasted alcohol before college. Hopefully, a great experience!
Which country did you guys go teach English? I wanted to do the same thing, and considered the JET program to teach English in Japan.
I also wonder about people’s political viewpoints in College. How when you are in college, you have these ideals like you say. Then once you graduate, you have to pay taxes, and those ideals go away, only to return in retirement.
Sam
We went to Nicaragua. We had a connection to the university and while it didn’t pay as well as some countries in Asia, we were really passionate about the issues of racial and ethnic inequality. It was unfortunate that it ended the way it did.
Graduation can be a tough time for sure, especially depending on how well your degree set you up for employment afterwards. I know a lot of people who defaulted into graduate school because 1) they couldn’t find a job and 2) they weren’t ready, mentally, to graduate. Personally, I got a good job right out of school and feel very lucky for that. It didn’t turn out to be the right job for me, but it set me up really well. I think there’s a lot of pressure to know what you want to do when you graduate when the reality is that most people will change their careers at some point in their lives. When I decided to switch my career this past year, a close relative of mine told me that it was a shame that I’d wasted all that time pursuing the wrong education and the wrong career. I was pretty miffed but then quickly realized that it was that “wrong education and wrong career” that led me to where I want to be now.
Yeah, that’s a great way to look at it. I used to think that I wasted all this time, but everything affects your future in one way or another. Sometimes I think American culture fails to appreciate the middle parts of the journey. We just want to know how it ends or the fastest, most efficient, direct way to get there, in some ways.
About a month before college ended, I started panicking and didn’t want to leave. It was pretty traumatic, I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend right before I left for home after the graduation ceremony. So there were a lot of changes to go through and my first couple of weeks were pretty crazy. I also didn’t have a job lined up, though I did get one about three weeks after graduation, which was the first step towards getting that transition really moving from college kid to adulthood.
That sounds pretty stressful MB. Getting a job 3 weeks after graduation isn’t bad. Was it the job you wanted or did you settle?
College WAS my transition. My parents couldn’t afford to put me through school, so when I gave up my track and cross country scholarship and returned home to finish college at Michigan State, I started paying my own way through school. The big learning for me? Many of the people around me were taking blow off classes while I was working full time and going to school. When I started paying for school my grades soared. I’d never been an all A student until I had to pay for it. Coincidence?
Haha – paying for school will do that to you. I’m happy you pulled it off. It’s tough not being handed everything, but it helps you grow.
I was really focused in college but had a blast my last year. I lived in a house with a bunch of roommates, had just broken up with my college boyfriend, and was having FUN. However, it all ended when graduation came and I was in utter turmoil. It didn’t help that I had picked a major that wasn’t going to land me a job right away (anthropology), was in a weird relationship with an older man, and my best friends were moving to the east coast. Let’s just say my adjustment period was about a year of, “What the hell am I gonna do!?” Thankfully, I’ve always been able to pull myself together and get on with it and that’s just what I did.
That sounds like it happens to a lot of people. Glad you overcame it!
I hated classes and was glad to graduate those but miss the college atmosphere greatly. I didn’t love or hate my first job but it was definitely nice to get a paycheck and be able to start saving!
Like Sam was saying, the college atmosphere was great. Most of my closest friends to this day are those I met in college, even though they live in other states. There’s something nice about being able to save your own money.
I had a pretty smooth transition, but there were a lot of upsides, too. Sure, waking up for work wasn’t so much fun, but having money to spend was awesome. I went from a poor college kid to someone actually making progress.
I think it was a slow transition for me, because I got a decent job and really felt like I could spend like an adult, after 22 years of being raised frugal. Now that I look back, I’m surprised at how idealistic I was, but maybe deep down I really wasn’t, because I started a family young, bought a house, etc. I now feel that deep wanderlust that many young people act on.
I did experience the harsh reality and learned very quickly your first job after graduation will not be your dream job. But I did make sure that while I was in college, I worked and added internships to my full load of classes. I was to anxious to establish the career I wanted early on in life. In my early twenties I become a licensed financial advisor. And I still have them as I approach my thirty-flirty year.
I didn’t do “the college experiece”, and I’m kinda glad. College for me was focused because I went to a school for a specialty, and didn’t waste time. I went for 18 months straight, got my A.A. and got a job. I had already wasted enough time by dropping out of Community College a year earlier, so taking a bunch of prereq’s and hanging out with high schoolers wasn’t too appealing. I also matured a bit and didn’t want to extend my adolescence for 4 more year.
Wow, I sound like a grumpy old guy….
I was so ready to leave school and start in the real world because I wanted to earn my own money and become independent. I had jobs while I was in school, but didn’t like all the studying I had to juggle in between.
My college graduation was really harsh – did not find a job for several months after graduating and had to continue my job as a server to make ends meet. Even when I did find my first real job, it was tough. I was the low man on the pull, not familiar with how things “really worked”, and had to come to grips that I truly knew nothing.
After college you’re left almost with a sense of sadness. You’re out in the big bad world and feel totally unprepared. I had the same feeling of “what do I do now”.
The second half of your article really hit home to me. It’s not easy trying to re-adjust your life goals, especially when you were so disappointed about having to leave your teaching position overseas.
Life will always knock you down, it’s how you respond that matters in my opinion.
Graduating college in the 60s, I faced the harsh reality of the draft. 6 months after graduation, I was inducted into the army. My new bride joined me in Kansas at my permanent duty station. I ended up teaching business classes to the inmates at the U.S. Army prison. How’s that for a dose of reality?
When I attended, my father worked out an “each of us will pay half” sort of deal. Call that my introduction to reality, although I knew it was coming since late Junior year of High School. So yeah, I guess my idealism was crushed before I was even 18, haha. No regrets!
I loved college. It was an absolute blast! Unfortunately, I also loved the partying aspect of college. It took me a little while longer to grow-up after graduation. I moved to the big city, with dreams of hitting it big. I was driven by idealism and stupidity, although I was able to support myself through my job and some minor credit card debt. Luckily, I didn’t get myself in too deep before I met my wife.
I loved college so much that I decided to go back a second time, again driven by idealism. Now that I’ve been in the workforce for a few years, my idealism has been crushed as well:) Now, I realize that the only reason I’m really wanting to hold a job is to make money. I’m not sure if that is what maturing is all about or if that is just what the world does to you when you aren’t surrounded by the walls of academia.
I was glad to get out of college and into the real world. Funny thing…. went back for 2 more masters degrees afterwards. When I was young, I didn’t value the importance of education like I do now !!!!!!
I think that adjusting to life’s circumstances is a really important lesson to carry with you throughout life. Especially for those who graduated after the economy fell, getting a dream job right out of college is one of the many ways we’re forced to learn that lesson. You’re right…you don’t give up your dreams; you just adjust them according to reality.
Good topic. I truly enjoyed college, and grew up a lot there. When graduating, I had an adjustment period to be sure, and it was tough. I moved to a new city for a job offer, and life became very different and much tougher. It was almost like how it’s said that some star athletes have difficulties transitioning to normal life once their playing days are over. When college ended, the playind days were over for me, and it wasn’t easy to adjust.
But, I did eventually do so. Went back for a masters degree later, and truly appreciated being a student much more the 2nd time around. Now, years later, those days seem like such a different time of life!
I think that it’s important for kids going to college to be guided that while it’s a great time of life, idealism, etc – it’s vastly different that the “real world”. The sooner you figure that out, the easier that transition will be!
I hung on to college as long as possible. One of the main reasons I went to grad school was to postpone reality. :) Love being on a campus, love the lifestyle, love the abundant resources readily available, love to learn, love the freedom and independence. So a slow transition for me, but financially I did it on my own, and it was not easy. Took about 3 years before I felt I wasn’t living paycheck-to-paycheck, or worse.
I enjoyed my college experience and will always look fondly back on it. However, college for me was quite difficult. I was studying engineering and the classes were very demanding. I made a bunch of great friends that I still keep in contact with as well.
Anyway, I really enjoyed life after I graduated and made some money. It wasn’t a harsh transition at all for me. :)
My harsh reality was handed to me freshman year. After blowing through HS without lifting a finger, attending one of the top schools in my state was not quite as easy. After adjusting though, college was incredible enjoyable. I think it’s true, the college years are the best years of your life.
Well, I am still currently in school but I have been working and providing for myself since I was about 16. My parents still took care of me, but I learned the value of making my own money at an early age. I just turned 27 and ive got a few more semesters before I graduate.
I am currently super stoked where I work right now. My first startup. I currently am studying International Business and have always wanted to know how a business was started from the ground up. I have been under the wing of the CEO since last year.
I believe I am having an experience of a life time. As I have high aspiration for my company I don’t think the transition from graduating will be harmful or weird at all.
It will probably be beneficial more than anything.
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